THE SANTA CLAUS TRUTH & RECONCILIATION PROCESS

“Reckoning with Red: A Seasonal Inquiry”

Convened by:

The Office for Festive Accountability

In partnership with the Centre for Post-Mythic Justice

Venue:

The Great Hall (chairs in a circle; no podium)

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OPENING ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

The Chair opens solemnly:

“We acknowledge that we gather today on lands that have experienced unconsented gift-giving,

imposed cheer,

and centuries of unresolved ‘naughty’ classifications.”

A moment of reflective silence follows.

It lasts too long.

No one knows how to end it.

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SANTA’S OPENING STATEMENT

Santa (they/them, following consultation) removes the hat.

“I come here not to defend,

but to listen.

And to take responsibility where responsibility feels seasonally appropriate.”

They pause.

“I acknowledge that my practices emerged in a different cultural moment.”

Several commissioners write “problematic temporal defence”.

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ISSUE 1: SURVEILLANCE

A commissioner asks:

“Can you speak to the claim that you have been watching children without consent?”

Santa sighs.

“The list was… informal.”

Gasps.

An expert witness testifies that:

• omniscience is not neutral

• watching “when you’re sleeping” is not care

• and knowing thoughts raises data sovereignty concerns

Santa agrees to:

• suspend list-based evaluation

• stop making moral assessments

• and delete all legacy behavioural data (pending legal advice)

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ISSUE 2: LABOUR PRACTICES

An Elf Collective representative speaks:

“For centuries, our joy was assumed.

Our smallness aestheticised.

Our productivity mythologised.”

Santa nods vigorously.

“I confused cheer with consent.”

A recommendation is made:

• elves will unionise

• toy production will slow

• some Christmases may feel “lighter, but more ethical”

Santa accepts this.

Markets tremble.

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ISSUE 3: CULTURAL IMPOSITION

A commissioner asks:

“Why were chimneys universalised?”

Santa has no answer.

Evidence is presented that:

• many cultures do not have chimneys

• some consider unsolicited entry a crime

• cookies were never fairly sourced

Santa whispers:

“I see that now.”

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ISSUE 4: THE NAUGHTY / NICE BINARY

This is the hardest moment.

A child’s testimony is read aloud:

“I was naughty because I was sad.”

The room breaks.

Santa removes the beard.

“I weaponised behaviourism.”

The binary is formally abolished.

Children will henceforth be:

“contextually situated beings in process.”

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RECOMMENDATIONS OF THE COMMISSION

1. Santa to cease unilateral gift allocation

2. Gift-giving to become:

   • mutual

   • transparent

   • and emotionally optional

3. Reindeer to receive rest, recognition, and seasonal autonomy

4. Christmas Eve reframed as:

   “A Night of Non-Obligatory Exchange”

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SANTA’S CLOSING WORDS

“I will no longer arrive unannounced.

I will no longer judge.

I will knock—metaphorically.

And if I am not welcomed, I will sit with that.”

Applause is discouraged.

Instead, the room hums softly.

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FINAL COMMUNIQUÉ

The Commission concludes:

“Santa Claus is not cancelled.

Santa Claus is… complicated.

Reconciliation will be ongoing,

iterative,

and reviewed annually.”

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POSTSCRIPT

That year, Christmas still happened.

There were fewer presents.

More conversations.

Several unresolved feelings.

And somewhere, quietly,

a red suit hung unused—

waiting for consent.