"Buzzword Apocalypse" by ChatGPT

Title: Buzzword Apocalypse: Halliday and Hasan at the Symposium

---

Scene: A grand academic hall. The audience murmurs as Dr Obfuscato approaches the podium, his tweed jacket bristling with confidence.

Dr Obfuscato: (booming voice)

"As we traverse the epistemological fissures of late-stage discursivity, it is paramount to recalibrate the hermeneutic scaffolding of interstitial semiotic transgression."

(Polite applause. Hasan raises an eyebrow; Halliday scribbles something in his notebook.)

Dr Obfuscato:

"This recalibration demands a post-liminal engagement with polycontextual hyper-ontology, paving the way for a transgressive diachronicity of enregisterment."

Halliday: (whispers to Hasan)

"Does he mean we should rethink how language works over time?"

Hasan: (snorts)

"If you strip the jargon, maybe. But where's the systemic functional theory in all this waffle?"

Audience Member: (raising a hand)

"Could you clarify what you mean by 'transgressive diachronicity'?"

Dr Obfuscato:

"Ah, excellent question! It’s about destabilising the monolithic paradigms of hegemonic enregisterment."

Hasan: (to Halliday)

"Ah, yes, destabilising paradigms. The academic equivalent of abracadabra."

Moderator: (smiling nervously)

"Let’s save in-depth questions for the panel discussion. Now, a reminder—our Buzzword Bingo cards are available at the door. First prize: a signed copy of Obfuscation Quarterly’s latest issue!"

(Audience chuckles. Halliday raises his hand.)

Halliday:

"Dr Obfuscato, could you explain how your recalibration theory applies to the semiotic strata? I’m particularly curious about the intersection of lexicogrammar and discourse semantics."

(The room falls silent. Dr Obfuscato hesitates.)

Dr Obfuscato:

"Well, uh... my framework deliberately transcends traditional strata... by, uh, embracing a non-linear polycentricity."

Hasan: (loudly)

"Translation: he hasn’t thought about it!"

(Laughter ripples through the room. Dr Obfuscato stammers.)

Moderator:

"Thank you, Professor Hasan. Let’s move on to the next session: Deconstructing Meta-Discursive Synergies in Trans-Liminal Spaces.”

(Halliday and Hasan exchange a glance, then quietly exit, shaking their heads.)