Scene: The Costanza apartment. Frank is sitting at the table, reading from a laptop. Estelle putters around, only half-listening.
FRANK: (reading aloud, incredulous) "Dear all, despite Chris' attempt to foreclose issues with 'retrospective'…" What the hell is this guy talking about, Estelle?! Who writes like this?!
ESTELLE: Hmm?
FRANK: This Bateman character! He’s trying to sound like he’s delivering a UN address when he’s just whining on an email list! Look at this! (scrolling) “One can only say so much without knowledge.” Ohhh, well, thank you, your majesty! What an insight! Without knowledge, you can’t say much! You hear that, Estelle?! We should put that in a fortune cookie!
ESTELLE: Maybe he’s just trying to explain something?
FRANK: Explain?! He’s not explaining, he’s performing! He’s standing at the podium, waving to an imaginary crowd! “Ladies and gentlemen! I will now bestow upon you… MY OPINION!” (throws up hands in mock reverence)
ESTELLE: So don’t read it, Frank.
FRANK: I have to read it, Estelle! I have to witness this train wreck! Look at this— “You can safely delete any of Chris's posts…” Who says that?! He’s standing there with a clipboard, making a list of who’s allowed to speak! “You, out! You, in! No questions! No complaints!” It’s a dictatorship of smugness!
ESTELLE: Maybe you should go lie down.
FRANK: No! No lying down! I stand against this nonsense! I haven’t seen self-importance like this since the guy at the bakery tried to correct my pronunciation of “brioche!” I say “bree-osh,” he says “bree-ohhhsh!” Who cares?! Just give me the damn bread!
ESTELLE: I don’t know why you get involved in these things…
FRANK: Because, Estelle! Somebody has to say it! Somebody has to tell this man… (points at the screen with fury) YOU ARE NOT A WISE OVERSEER! YOU ARE JUST SOME GUY!!!
[Scene: Frank is still fuming over his laptop. The door suddenly bursts open—Kramer-style.]
KRAMER: (out of breath, waving a printout) Frank! FRANK! Have you seen this?!
FRANK: (still reading Bateman’s post, gritting his teeth) Oh, I’ve seen it, all right!
KRAMER: No, no, no, I mean this thing about the language models! It’s big! HUGE! We’re talkin’—sentences without meaning!
FRANK: That’s what I’m saying!
KRAMER: They’re putting words together—get this—without knowing what they mean!
FRANK: EXACTLY! That’s this Bateman guy!
KRAMER: No, no, no, he’s right! We gotta listen to him, Frank! He says we should just delete all of Chris’s posts!
FRANK: (snaps around to face him) WHAT?!
KRAMER: He’s the expert! He knows things! We’re just out here reading words like a couple of schmucks!
FRANK: YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW WORDS?!
KRAMER: No, no, no, but—see, you and me, we think words mean things, but Bateman—ohhh, he’s beyond that! He’s in the meta-zone!
FRANK: Meta-zone?! I’ll tell you what’s in the meta-zone, KRAMER—THIS GUY’S HEAD! Because he is talking out of it!
KRAMER: I dunno, Frank… he sounds pretty sure of himself…
FRANK: SO DID THE GUY WHO SOLD ME THAT “REVOLUTIONARY” BACK STRETCHER! AND NOW I CAN’T TURN LEFT!
(Frank aggressively demonstrates his inability to turn left. Kramer takes a cautious step back.)
ESTELLE: (muttering to herself, barely looking up) I told you not to buy that thing…
KRAMER: (pauses, then shakes his head in disappointment) It’s a shame, Frank… you could’ve learned something…
(Kramer solemnly shakes his head, pats Frank on the shoulder, and exits dramatically.)
FRANK: (yelling after him) I’VE LEARNED PLENTY! I LEARNED THAT BATEMAN IS A WINDBAG AND YOU’RE A MORON!
(Estelle sighs as Frank slams his laptop shut.)
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